Virginia DMV Missed One, or Anon and Anon We Go
A few weeks ago on the way through Annandale to a bike trail for a ride, I pulled alongside a Lincoln Continental SUV — with the requisite 60-ish white male complacently steering his privilege. All of which I would normally pass by without comment, seeing as otherwise I’d waste a lot of time emoting over the state of the country when all I wanted to do was get on the bike trail, enjoy the swelling cicada choruses and clear my head.
You don’t get credit for the time you waste.
But midday last Sunday it took a lot of self control not to harass the befooled driver — middle finger elevated in the time-honored salute on behalf of the rest of us.
His license was adorned with a background US flag and the US motto, “In God We Trust.” OK, fine, we’ll grant he’s a patriot who loves his country. In Northern Virginia, we have a plethora [1] of retired generals, admirals, grizzled ex-pols and the like in the neighborhood — we being the little people living in the shadows of the world’s top dog at present. We little people don’t object to top dog status, even if some of the product doesn’t smell quite right.
[1] Plethora: “Over-fullness in any respect, superabundance; any unhealthy repletion or excess.” From the Oxford English Dictionary.
Rolling up behind him at the next light, reading the dude’s vanity plate was what got to me:
CU ANON
No kidding. The DMV folks let it pass. Mind, they do have regulations — they banned the Confederate battle flag years ago on account of not wanting to upset sensitive types — like, say, descendants of slaves. QAnon camp followers argue there’s no reason to take offense, just because one’s ancestors were held in chains. We’re all just a barrel of laughs these days.
The Virginia DMV regs on vanity plates seem clear enough:
“DMV will not approve an application for a personalized license plate if the requested plate contains any combination of characters that in any way carries a connotation which may reasonably be seen by a person viewing the license plate as: ·
· Profane, obscene, or vulgar in nature:
· Sexually explicit or graphic;
· Excretory-related;
· Used to describe intimate body parts or genitals;
· Used to describe drugs, drug culture, or drug use;
· Used to condone or encourage violence;
· Used to describe illegal activities or illegal substances;
from the Virginia DMV website
The first in the bullet list pretty much covers it, and the last two qualify as well. Though, I’ll admit they say nothing explicit about absurdist conspiracy theories and pissed-off ex-military types storming the Capital — or General Flynn agreeing we should tear down the government like in Myanmar.
See a problem here? Evidently Virginia DMV doesn’t.
I try to look on the bright side: at least in one instance I can tell upfront who thinks Mr. Potato Head is an American hero. Mr. Anon appeared to be too old for a physical confrontation, not your usual angry rioter, so perhaps he’s just a sympathizer. As one older gentleman to another, what I wanted to say was ‘what the fuck, dude?’
Undoubtedly, Mr. Anon was upset when they pulled down the Jeff Davis statue in Richmond last year. Me, I cheered. Why a memorial to a Mississippi racist who presided over the deaths of some 32,000 Virginia Confederate soldiers ever should have been memorialized in Richmond still baffles me.
I wasn’t born in Virginia, and none of my family came from here, but I’ve lived here longer than anywhere else, and long enough to understand how the Civil War ruined this beautiful country, set it back and besmirched its history.
Weary Soldier was written last year when the Confederate statuary was coming down. Unlike the obscenity paying obeisance to Jeff Davis, I believe this statue (now also gone) showed the proper reaction to that bloody time. You can’t cheer after seeing half your hometown regiment blown apart by grapeshot; I hope Mr. Anon understands that.
